Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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