i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
