Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
