The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
