Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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