we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
