can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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