so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
