You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
