HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
