we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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