Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
