for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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