Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize