he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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