is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
