I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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