someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
