your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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