____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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