so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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