was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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