I'm going to jail i love you
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
not ubering you a puppy
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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