was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize