we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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