i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
