Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize