My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
