best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
