and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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