Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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