So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
