Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
