His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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