i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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