Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
