We're facebook friends in real life
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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