she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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