The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
vagina is talking i cant
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize