He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
