well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
false alarm. still invincible.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
