Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
