Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
