he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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