CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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