if you like me you must not know who I am
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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