I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
