I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
