ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
