We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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