you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
