Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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