until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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