Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
