Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
