"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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