i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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